


Pirates

by ahrain745



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Gen, pirates!?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 20:02:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1136784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahrain745/pseuds/ahrain745
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Carolyn is the Pirate Queen, naturally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pirates

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the (second? I believe?) Cabin Crew Riot last year. Just wanted to share with friends! The prompt was something along the lines of "lost on a deserted island," so you see, pirates.

CAROLYN: Drivers! Arthur! Listen up. The pirates have made me their Queen, and they've agreed to get us off this blasted island!  
MARTIN: Yes!!!  
DOUGLAS: Oh, finally!  
ARTHUR: Brilliant Mum! I mean, “Captain!” I mean, “Queen?”  
CAROLYN: That’ll do, Arthur, settle down. And let’s pack our supplies; ship sails at dawn. Lord knows I’m ready to get off this island. It’s been nearly a month! I don’t know much longer we’d have survived on our cargo supplies.  
DOUGLAS: I agree, although I’m afraid getting on the ship of pirates under the impression that we’re also pirates might not extend our survival all that much.  
CAROLYN: Yes, particularly pirates whose crew includes Arthur “Worst Liar in the World” Shappey and Martin “No, I’M the Captain” Crieff.  
MARTIN: Hey! I AM the Captain, I mean I am normally. I can pretend you’re my “Pirate Captain” in order to get off this island.  
ARTHUR: Yeah Mum, I mean Captain, this isn’t lying so much as pretending! Plus being pirates is bril-  
DOUGLAS: Brilliant, yes. I’m not sure that’s a properly pirate-y exclamation.  
ARTHUR: Oh, you’re right, umm… Arrrrrgh… matey… Avast! Ahoy, you mangy dogs…!  
DOUGLAS: Actually, better just be yourself. Or even better, don’t speak, and just be the “Silent, Dangerous Pirate with Ten Swords Slung on his Back.”  
ARTHUR: Brilliant! Oh right, shushhh!  
CAROLYN: Alright, now remember, we’re stranded pirates, our ship “Gertie” has sunk, and the rest of our crew is dead.  
MARTIN: Can I at least be your First Mate?  
CAROLYN: Of course not. Douglas is my First Mate.  
DOUGLAS: Thank you, Carolyn. It would be an honor to steer the Good Ship Let’s Get The Hell Off This Rock under your command.  
MARTIN: But why?!! I’m the Captain! Normally! He’s the First Officer of ME.  
CAROLYN: Douglas is the one who found out this was a pirate hideaway. Douglas is the one who figured they would come back. Douglas is the one who thought we should disguise ourselves as pirates too in case they happened upon us, which they did. It is thanks to Douglas that they did not kill us on sight!  
DOUGLAS: Oh please, Captain, I’m blushing. And it is thanks to you and your natural regal air that they assumed you were our Captain, Captain.  
ARTHUR: And it is thanks to my idea to try and find out how many swords I could wear that we looked so dangerous!  
MARTIN: Alright, alright! Can I at least tell them I steer the… the ship?  
CAROLYN: That you can Martin.  
MARTIN: Fine. Thank you.  
ARTHUR: Oh! What should our pirate names be?


End file.
